anger
I noticed last month that I was getting increasingly bitter about all of this breast cancer stuff…like shockwaves from an earthquake a year ago, very odd.
It’s not that it’s hitting me in a delayed fashion, it’s that I’m noticing all the deficit I’m going thru now that was not here two years ago—this shitty hair, my worsening vision…yes, some of that is age, but it was acute in onset with the chemo.
Last month, I found myself griping about it over the phone with George—my biggest regret in life, I said, was having done the chemo at all…had I just done the lumpectomy, I’d still have my hair, I wouldn’t look as old as I do and therefore, would not be getting treated like I’m 65 years old by students that are really not all that much younger than me (there are a few here whom are half my age, but the majority are in their 30s) and I wouldn’t be struggling with these vision problems.
In any case, now I”m studying breast cancer. Funny, eh?
Surgical implications, types of mastecomies, treatment modalities, long term and short term medications…you don’t say? Hmmm, that’s very interesting. Ahhh.
Anyway, I thought it was interesting. Anger…two years out.
I’m just stressed out by the graduate school thing, no doubt.
