Afraid again
My next hurdle is the taking of this tamoxifen. It’s a drug that suppresses the ovaries in their production of estrogen. Since my cancer was ER positive (estrogen receptor positive) the lowering of estrogen is a good thing (I guess.)
A few months ago, I was having hot flashes from the chemo, and hating life. My hot flashes got so bad that they came with a severe nausea, and once I almost fainted and had to sit down on the kitchen floor while attempting to make dinner. Thankfully, the hot flashes went away, and life became less miserable. But now, they want me to start taking this bullshit.
Reading the list of side effects makes me nauseous in itself. Here’s just a few things it could cause: Pulmonary embolism, strokes, or heart attack (all of which could be fatal, or just fuck me up enough to make me a diaper wearing drooling mess for the rest of my life, if it doesn’t kill me.)
I could have a minor clot, like a DVT or some other embolism. I could get endometrial cancer, because evidently this stuff messes with the inner lining of your uterus. Goody. Cancer there would be fun, huh?
Besides all the accellerated aging that will happen over the next five years , I look forward to my hair getting thinner, my skin getting thicker and wrinkling faster than it normally would, and probably more hair in places I don’t want it. Fabulous. Oh, and then there’s the cataracts. My mom took this med, and had the cataracts. She had to have surgery in each eye…not pleasant for her. She also had glaucoma, and I’m not sure that THAT didn’t come from this med, too.
I’m really starting to have my doubts about this Tamoxifen shit. But then, I think…what’s better—Cancer again? Or cataracts? i know that the benefits outweigh the risks but it’s still scary.
I just don’t know. Decisions, decisions…
